After Letting Go, Her Regret Remains - Chapter 11

[“Much better.”]

After sending the reply, Shang Li immediately turned off her phone, unwilling to let Meng Yuan’s few words stir up excessive emotional turmoil within her.

Even if last night’s “okay” had been genuine, how could she dare to trust Meng Yuan now?

As this thought crossed her mind, Shang Li felt a sudden daze when had Meng Yuan become like this in her heart?

There was a time when she had trusted Meng Yuan so deeply, engraving her words as tenets in her heart, especially during the most challenging moments of their relationship.

Meng Yuan would always love Shang Li.

Meng Yuan and Shang Li would be together forever.

Back then, these words were unshakable, binding their hearts tightly, warding off ghosts and blocking blades, paving a grand and radiant path.

Who would have thought that, with the passage of time, they would now become shackles and chains for her alone unbreakable and inescapable.

Lost in melancholy, her phone buzzed again. Shi Jing had sent a message, urging her to reconsider the play.

This time, Shang Li didn’t refuse outright. She thought perhaps she was just too idle, which was why she had almost entirely anchored her heart to Meng Yuan, letting her joys and sorrows revolve around her.

It was no wonder Meng Yuan often accused her of overthinking.

Shang Li smiled bitterly and was about to agree when a faint pain throbbed in the sole of her foot. Worried about delaying the rehearsal schedule, she first inquired about the general timeline.

Seeing an opportunity, Shi Jing quickly replied: [“No rush, we haven’t even finalized the cast yet. What’s up, got something going on lately?”]

Not wanting to worry Shi Jing, Shang Li brushed it off with a vague excuse.

Shi Jing: [“Alright, it’s settled then! You can’t bail on me, especially not because of a certain someone!!!”]

Shang Li glanced down at her foot, wrapped in layers of white gauze. The wound beneath hadn’t yet scabbed over, and with the slightest pressure, she could still feel that piercing pain.

No more.

She couldn’t let Meng Yuan be the reason she truly broke her own legs.

–

After resting carefully for over a week, Shang Li’s foot had finally healed enough to walk on.

During this time, Meng Yuan was busy promoting her new film and was scarcely seen. Strangely enough, despite her hectic schedule, Meng Yuan still made it a point to return home every day.

She would carry Shang Li to the bathroom, carefully washing her; she would ask about her day at home; she would even talk about the films she planned to shoot later.

There was a deliberate effort in Meng Yuan’s actions she was earnestly practicing what she called “being good.”

Having once experienced unreserved, fervent love, how could Shang Li not see that Meng Yuan’s behavior now stemmed from duty or promises?

Yet, in unexpected moments, she would still feel an overwhelming sense of being undeservedly favored, leaving her unsure how to respond.

Too much warmth, and she feared the backlash when it cooled; too much indifference, and she worried about hurting Meng Yuan.

Unable to fully invest her emotions, she had to cautiously nurture Meng Yuan’s efforts.

It was like holding a piece of candy in her mouth while her tongue remembered only bitterness.

Fortunately, such days didn’t last long. As soon as her injury healed, Shi Jing sent a message saying the cast for the play was complete, and there would be an interview in the afternoon. If she had time, she could come by to familiarize herself with the venue.

Glad to have something to do, Shang Li agreed immediately and drove to the theater.

Entering from backstage, she found the performance hall where Shi Jing was. Just as she was about to step out from behind the curtain, she caught sight of someone being interviewed up ahead.

The female host’s voice was gentle and clear: “As we all know, during the years Professor Qi has been teaching, the Central Academy of Drama has produced many talented individuals. Among all the students you’ve taught, are there any who left a particularly deep impression on you?”

Ding dong!

Shi Jing: [Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.]
Shang Li: [No need, I’ve already arrived.]
Shi Jing: [By the way, do you still remember our teacher Qi Fanglin?]
Shi Jing: [She’s at the theater today and just mentioned you.]

Seeing her mentor’s name, Shang Li felt a pang of sorrow in her heart. [It’s been so long, the teacher might have mistaken me for someone else.]

Just as she sent the message, a familiar voice suddenly rang out.

“Hahaha, Shi Jing is definitely one of them. That child is diligent and hardworking. In their graduating class, there was another person named Shang Li.”

Hearing her own name abruptly, Shang Li froze, nervously licking her lips and holding her breath.

“That child was also a promising talent. It’s just a pity that, for some reason in recent years luck hasn’t been on her side, and she hasn’t had the chance to fully showcase her abilities. But it’s never too late, I believe she will succeed in the future. Hahaha, and I hope all the directors here can give this child an opportunity.”

The magnificent and solemn stage unfolded before her like a scroll, with bright, dazzling lights illuminating every corner.

Shang Li crouched behind the curtains, hidden in the shadows, her hands tightly covering her mouth, her face flushed as she stifled any sound.

Her phone kept buzzing incessantly.

Shi Jing: [Did you really think Professor Qi has grown senile?]
Shi Jing: [She even asked about how you’ve been doing. When she found out you’re also performing in this play, the old lady was overjoyed.]
Shi Jing: [She kept praising you right in front of me, I was so jealous.]
Shi Jing: [By the way, where are you? I don’t see you.]

Seven years ago, at the graduation ceremony, her mentor’s words echoed in her ears once more: “Xiao Shang, you have talent and patience. Cherish your abilities. I believe your future is boundless and full of brightness.”

Yet now, she was huddled in this dim, obscure corner, too ashamed to face her mentor.

Tears streamed down her face, tracing paths across her cheeks. Clenching her teeth, she could no longer hold back and nearly fled the theater in despair.

Over the past decade, she had failed to live up to all the kindness she had received.

What had she been doing all these years?

Shang Li turned to look back the path behind her was dark and gloomy, the road ahead bleak and uncertain.

The acting career she had once loved so deeply, the one she was willing to dedicate her life to, had withered and decayed to such an extent.

Staring at her own hands, she suddenly realized they were empty. Even when she clenched them tightly, there was nothing to hold onto.

Even the steadfast vows she had once made were slowly withering and fading away.

She could grasp nothing, retain nothing.

Shang Li stood amidst the chaotic, bustling city cars flowing endlessly, skyscrapers towering, pedestrians weaving through the streets everything operating in an orderly rhythm.

A massive poster of Meng Yuan hung in the most prominent spot on a building, while LED screens at the mall cycled through advertisements for products she endorsed.

Meng Yuan’s presence was everywhere, her melodious voice continuously striking Shang Li’s eardrums.

Yet Shang Li was enveloped in an overwhelming sense of emptiness, as if the entire world had nothing to do with her. Alone and solitary, she trudged forward by herself.

The career she pursued, the love she believed in, all had turned their backs on her.

After ten years, she was once again abandoned on an unfamiliar street.

“Beep, beep, beep.”

The ringtone sounded. Shang Li stared at the name “Meng Yuan” on her phone screen, then looked up at the distant figure of Meng Yuan laughing triumphantly. Her thoughts wavered slightly.

Slowly, she reached out her hand, measuring the distance between them.

So far away.

Meng Yuan from ten years ago had also felt this distant.

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